It happened more than 10 years ago, but I still recall their pained expressions. I remember how quickly their wounds were covered up and overcompensated with anger and the “how dare she” snide “mean girl” behavior that soon followed.
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Just seconds before they were a beautiful group of friends enjoying their time together. Now because of one comment that I made—-a comment that can be summed up to “oh how fun that you all are celebrating together on Valentine’s Day,” I found myself in a situation where I just could not win.
See, when I graduated from college, I moved to Austin, TX. I was following my dream of living in one of my favorite cities. I was supporting myself by waiting tables. Most people I encountered on that Valentine’s Day dinner shift were in the agony of heartbreak.
They wanted to be seen, served, and loved, but no matter how hard I worked or how many times I refilled their cheesy biscuits (yes I worked at Red Lobster) nothing was good enough. They were just bound and determined to take their misery out on me.
This is an issue that I see happening with so many of us, human-folk. As people, when we are not happy, we have a tendency to take our problems and pain out on others. We may feel that because someone has something that we want—-whether it is boundless love with a sexy someone—or someones!— or limitless money and success—we comfort our discomfort by directing negative thoughts and actions towards others.
In moments like this, we are passing our own judgement of ourselves—-all of our inadequacies, our sense of low self-worth, and our insecurities—-onto them. But here is the good news: if you can be jealous of someone else’s circumstances, then guess what? You too can enjoy the same circumstances!!
Sure, you may not have the relationship or love life that you desire right now. You may not be over-the-moon happy with your body, your current job or relationship, but know this: if you can have such a strong reaction to something—-then that means that it too can be yours.
Now, I will not get all woo woo with you and tell you that all you have to do is think positive thoughts, wave your magic wand, and will that relationship, that love life, those juicy delicious circumstances that you LOVE, into your experience. That would be lying.
What I can tell you is that you can have these things through choosing to heal your heart and put effort into having the desire that you want. Healing and effort is a power combo!!
See, when we experience desire—-whether it comes in as feelings of yearning OR feelings of jealousy—-this is our heart’s way of communicating with us. Those less than savory “negative” feelings that you are experiencing? That’s your heart! Those loving giddy excited feelings? That’s your heart too!
If you listen to your heart, your heart will show you where your love—-your attention and effort—-is needed. Your heart is your greatest ally.
Be aware that what your heart shows you may not always be pretty. All of those judgements you feel toward yourself and others? That is your heart crying for your attention. That is your heart asking for healing and pleading for you to reconnect with it.
This Valentine’s Day, will you choose to listen to your heart, love yourself up, and take steps to heal your heart?
If your answer is yes, then I would love to assist you with a Heart Reconnection Session. In this free session, I will listen carefully, ask questions, give loving and honest insight, and shed light on practical steps you can take to heal your heart and bring your desire into reality. Please apply for your session here: https://loverenegades.com/apply-renegade-session/
If you can align with your heart, you are on your way to being unstoppable. You are on your way to no longer being affected by the actions of others or feeling bad about what you do or do not have. You are on your way to creating love within and around you.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day to you!! It is my greatest intention that you choose to love you today.