As a Love and Relationship Psychic and Coach, I have the pleasure of connecting with people about their love lives and relationships. Recently, I felt inspired by a client’s session and received Divine Guidance (and her permission) to share this with you.
She is a beautiful, vibrant woman. Highly intelligent, successful, and quite kind. She is the type of person many of us would see and think, “Her life is perfect. She has it all figured out.”
The reality is that she has been in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship for three years too long.
She has told herself that she can fix it—that if she could just “be better” and “work harder,” then her partner would be happy—and that maybe the relationship would one day be what she has always wanted it to be.
In this relationship, she often experiences feeling devalued, dismissed, wrong, and anxious. She is not treated with love and respect. Many times, she has wanted to leave but has chosen to stay. She is losing confidence.
Does anything about her story feel familiar to you? As someone who loves to identify and dismantle illusions that separate us from Love, which I call the Illusions of Relationship™—I am excited to shed light on this common situation with a Love Renegade’s perspective, starting with mistaken thinking.
My client’s mistaken thinking was such that she believed that “being better” was going to going to lead to new enjoyable experiences in her relationship. Her motivation for “being better” was with the expectation that her [former] partner would like her more or treat her better. Although completely understandable, this approach is not only manipulative but also a form of self-deception.
The mistaken thinking at play here aligns fully with the Illusions of Relationship™, but not with Love. If continued, actions made from such thinking would result in more opportunities to deceive and be deceived, more reasons to stay stuck, and more dissatisfaction in relationships—causing a lot of pain and frustration!
Now back to my client—-in addition to being gorgeous and successful—she is a martial artist. In her coaching session, her Guides and I directed her to apply martial arts to this common relationship dynamic. From this exercise, she uncovered that her [former] partner’s “signature move” against her was a chokehold-—which made perfect sense for her!
See, the throat is the energy center of communication, authenticity, and self-expression. When we have blocks on our throat chakra, we are experiencing difficulty in speaking or living our truth. Nothing about this relationship really supported her in shining as her authentic self!
As we continued the session, I watched her throat chakra heal as she connected with her inner Love Renegade. As she saw the enlightened truth before her, she embraced a new perspective that will support her in breaking free of an emotional chokehold and the Illusions of Relationship™.
Of course, without being consciously aware of it, many of us unknowingly allow ourselves to be put into emotional chokeholds. For your own healing and illumination, I encourage you to spend some time with the following questions:
- What would I do or say if I felt more trusting and confident?
- Is there anywhere in my relationship or life where I am deceiving myself?
- What part of me wants to shine?
Learn more about the Illusion of Satisfaction, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ by watching this video here: https://youtu.be/taQdRO5_kwc
Or you can read the transcription below. 👇
“Today let’s connect about the Illusion of Satisfaction. The Illusion of Satisfaction is the sixth of the Illusions of Relationship™. It keeps you disconnected from your heart and keeps you separated from Love with its own shame and hurt. The way that the Illusion of Satisfaction works is that you may tell yourself that you are just completely fulfilled and “fine” with your life and current relationship—when that is not exactly the whole truth. The Illusion of Satisfaction works in that if you are single and would really deep down want to have people in your life or that one person who you can really connect with and share your life with—that you tell yourself “no, I am just fine not having a partner.” What is interesting about the Illusion of Satisfaction is of course we want to be satisfied and grateful for current circumstances. Sure, things could be worse, but it becomes an Illusion of Relationship when we lie to ourselves, and we fail to admit what we really want to feel amazing and what if we really want to experience. If the yearning is there, then the possibility of having it is there. To allow that [reality] into your life, you first need to admit that you want it. Yes, you may have had a long road where you had your heart broken in some way. Maybe a relationship fell a part. Maybe a creative project or a new business did not work out the way that you wanted it too. It is OK to stop and breathe and heal. You can do that while admitting that there is something more for you to experience and to allow into your life.”
Daniel and I have been together for 12 years. He is my favorite person. I sincerely believe that this is because both of us are committed to our own growth and respect each other as individuals.
Neither one of us wants to change the other or lives in the past of our relationship. Both of us are very different people from who we were when we first met.
Our secret is simple, and it’s the same one I bring forth to my clients. It’s being our true self and witnessing the other in their growth.
When working with clients I bring forth a variety of tools that clue my client into who they are at soul-level and they are designed to use energy. Through coaching and in shedding light on Mistaken Thinking and the Illusions of Relationship, my clients set themselves free to be their true selves and create and realign relationships where they no longer have to settle, sacrifice, or pretend to be who they are not to receive love.
How many times have you spoken your truth, only to be on the receiving end of someone’s wrath? Maybe you have experienced it with family? Maybe during a break up or a fight?
Whatever it is, know this: The Illusion of Drama is at play! This is the Illusion of Relationship™ that affects us most in the areas of emotions, feelings, and change.
Let’s dive deeper into understanding the Illusion of Drama by shedding light on expectations, one of the biggest culprits in creating unnecessary drama! See, most people go into relationships with expectations. It is human nature to desire certain things!
One of these expectations, for instance, is that the man “should” pay for dinner. Yes, it is nice to be treated to dinner but expecting something puts a whole lot of unnecessary pressure on the date, which can lead to assumptions and drama!
Another way that expectation creeps its way into a committed relationship is when one partner feels that the other should be responsible for all of their emotional needs. This where the drama really kicks in!!
Imagine you are in an intense emotional state. You expect your partner to react to you in a certain way. Whether you are seeking comfort, affirmation, or validation—your partner does not give you what you want! Maybe your partner even sets boundaries with you about it. Maybe you perceive this as rejection and just become angrier and angrier!
Let’s look at the other side of this dramatic interaction…
A person you care about is experiencing intense emotions and a part of you is afraid. You tried to fix the situation and found out they were not looking for solutions! Now you feel unappreciated. At this point you might see the person as inconsolable. Whatever it is— the emotional energy is too intense for you! You are now in survival mode, and truly believe you need to run for cover. So you yell that you need to be left alone…or you just shut down.
Does any of that sound familiar? If so, what do you do? You could complain to your friends—-feeding into the drama! You could vilify your partner—-creating a whole other level of drama…Or you could break free of the Illusion of Drama.
If you have not yet watched the Illusion of Drama video or if you need a quick reminder, watch it here: https://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xw
If you are in the middle of high emotion and drama, I offer you empathy and a gentle reminder that you have a choice. You can free yourself from the drama in a way that supports your personal growth and relationships.
Here are a couple of healing resources:
Video-“How to Stop Feeling Angry, Resentful and Hurt”- https://youtu.be/938jZkACgUA
Invitation- Connect with me one-on-one in a free consult- https://loverenegades.com/apply-renegade-session/
I will be in touch soon with more information on how you can break free from the Illusion of Drama. We will also be starting our adventure into the Illusion of Perfection soon.
Hello, Drama, My Old Friend! When Drama arrives in your life, it could mean that you in the middle of the manifestation process and in the middle of creating real lasting change! OR it can mean that you are under the influence of the Illusion of Drama, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that pushes love away from you with a misuse of the powerful energy of Drama!
Watch our latest video and receive the healing transmission here==> https://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xwhttps://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xw
Read the transcript below 👇 👇 👇
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Drama. The Illusion of Drama is the third of our Illusions of Relationship™ System that disconnects you from your heart and separates you from Love with a lot of drama, with a lot of distraction.
When we are caught into the Illusion of Drama, it is usually when things are so chaotic and busy, and when there is a lot of conflict within and relationship dynamics and within ourselves. When that is happening it is really important for you to tune in and to really be aware of how you can be the most authentic.
Are you emoting and creating drama for drama’s sake? Are you talking about your problems so that you can get attention? Or are you on the verge of a big empowerment opportunity and healing breakthrough in your life and your life is simply aligning to create that.
Drama is a part of the transformation and healing process and it is really important during this time that you go into it with a loving open heart, with a commitment to being authentic, and to step into your transformation with clarity and with a knowing that it is all working out in your favor.
Are you caught in the Illusion of Drama? Want to find out for sure? Take the free Quiz and find out which Illusion of Relationship™ is influencing you here: https://loverenegades.com/quiz/
Want to go deep and receive empowered support? Contact lauren at love renegades dot com and request a free session.
Sending you blessings!
When it comes to relationships, the subject of forgiveness becomes inevitable. If you are anything like my clients and me, you have mixed feelings or strong emotions around forgiveness. If someone still has your power, as in they are living in your head rent-free, then it might be time to forgive—or at the very least explore the subject of forgiveness. To support you with this, I created a Love Renegades Forgiveness Series. Watch part one called “The Annoying Thing about Forgiveness” here and feel empowered about your next healing steps:
Watch here on my YouTube Channel 👉 https://youtu.be/dYElv3hoBv0
Of course, you can read the description below but the video is more fun and it contains a special healing transmission for you. 👇
Hi Beautiful. Today let’s talk about why it is so hard to forgive. Wow. You know forgiveness really used to be a concept that annoyed me. I thought “why in the world would I forgive someone who has hurt me and caused me problems? Why even waste time thinking of the other person? Why give them my energy?” Why, why, why??
Then one day, I realized that as much as I did not want to forgive them or think about them, they were still creepin’ their way into my heart and experience. When I realized that my thoughts and in a word way that these people had some power over me, that was when I was like , “no, no, no. It is time to gt in touch with my inner Love Renegade and let this go.”
So right now you might be upset with somebody and harbor lots of feelings of hurt. You may have been betrayed. Someone may have treated you in a mean or maybe even abusive way. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you need to be in a relationship with that person or that there needs to be a happy resolution.
No it means it is about freeing yourself so that you can allow more Love to come to you. So that you can feel better within yourself, your experience, and within your relationships. This really supports you in attracting and manifesting circumstances and relationship that reflect what you ultimately consciously desire, which is love and to be loved
Thank you for spending time with me.