We are Complete

We are Complete

Do you judge others for not giving you the support (ahem, validation) that you would like?  Does a part of you feel that you *need* support from others to be the person you desire to be?

I ask these questions to shed light on Mistaken Thinking where love and support are confused with entitlement and validation.  See, it is normal to seek safety and comfort when you are making changes and making new choices.

What we forget in this process is the Illusion of Drama, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from Love by insisting that drama come with the natural chaos of change.   

When we make changes our environment will react.  By environment I am largely referring to our relationships.  The other person (let’s say your partner, your husband, your adult child, your best friend, etc)  may not be in “like vibration” to the changes you are making and may react as such.  In this instance, it is important that you acknowledge that like you, this person has free will.

Just as you are free to make changes, others are free to react to those changes.  If any part of you is seeking validation and approval and even feels entitled to receiving this so-called unconditional support, all you are really doing is activating the Illusion of Drama by causing yourself unnecessary drama, pain, and agony. 

I bring this up to invite you to acknowledge your own actions, your own intentions, and your own process of initiating change. For example, have you entered into change with a variation of either of the following?  (I have done both!) 

Example A–  You bulldoze forward with an attitude of, “I don’t care what others think! They will have to deal with it!”
Example B– You take action, but you do it in a covert way. It’s like you are living a double life.

Each of the aforementioned situations will inevitably lead to fear because they were initiated with fear.  Not only do both of these actions invite drama, as they amplify the Illusion of Drama, but they also make assumptions, which is a hallmark of the Illusion of Absorption. 

As you grow, it is wise to accept that much like your inner world and our beautiful oceans, your relationships will ebb and flow.  You may find that some of these relationships fall away.  This can be both a time of grief and a time of celebration.

Whether your heart is hurting from a breakup or a series of misunderstandings, choose to know that healing and peace are on the way.  What would happen if you stepped out of a victim mentality and into your own authority?  What would you do differently with all that you learned?  What has the other person taught you about yourself? 

Bless the gifts of these experiences and move on.

We are complete. We are whole. All is well.

Exploring the Need to Suffer with Coaching Questions

One form of mistaken thinking is believing that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of work.  Many people believe that we have to suffer in order to grow and that anything worth having requires a lot of work. While there is a little bit of truth to this, this is another form of mistaken thinking.  Suffering and growth do not have to co-exist.  -Lauren Kay Wyatt, CEO of Love Renegades

To go deeper with this, I have some questions for you!

Do you believe that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of hard work?  On a scale of 1-10, how energizing are your life and relationships? Do you feel more enlivened or more tied down by your relationships and circumstances?

If you are not energized by your life and relationships, you most likely—at least on some level—believe that life has to be hard and that you have to suffer to receive “anything good.”

What would change in your life and relationships if you did not have to suffer? How would you be different from who you are now?


Quiz-What's your Illusion of Relationship™?
 

Your quiz results will help you...
 
  • Shed light on how you separate from Love
  • Gain insight into how your inner Love Renegade
  • Receive healing guidance on creating an incredible life and relationship
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