We are Complete

We are Complete

Do you judge others for not giving you the support (ahem, validation) that you would like?  Does a part of you feel that you *need* support from others to be the person you desire to be?

I ask these questions to shed light on Mistaken Thinking where love and support are confused with entitlement and validation.  See, it is normal to seek safety and comfort when you are making changes and making new choices.

What we forget in this process is the Illusion of Drama, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from Love by insisting that drama come with the natural chaos of change.   

When we make changes our environment will react.  By environment I am largely referring to our relationships.  The other person (let’s say your partner, your husband, your adult child, your best friend, etc)  may not be in “like vibration” to the changes you are making and may react as such.  In this instance, it is important that you acknowledge that like you, this person has free will.

Just as you are free to make changes, others are free to react to those changes.  If any part of you is seeking validation and approval and even feels entitled to receiving this so-called unconditional support, all you are really doing is activating the Illusion of Drama by causing yourself unnecessary drama, pain, and agony. 

I bring this up to invite you to acknowledge your own actions, your own intentions, and your own process of initiating change. For example, have you entered into change with a variation of either of the following?  (I have done both!) 

Example A–  You bulldoze forward with an attitude of, “I don’t care what others think! They will have to deal with it!”
Example B– You take action, but you do it in a covert way. It’s like you are living a double life.

Each of the aforementioned situations will inevitably lead to fear because they were initiated with fear.  Not only do both of these actions invite drama, as they amplify the Illusion of Drama, but they also make assumptions, which is a hallmark of the Illusion of Absorption. 

As you grow, it is wise to accept that much like your inner world and our beautiful oceans, your relationships will ebb and flow.  You may find that some of these relationships fall away.  This can be both a time of grief and a time of celebration.

Whether your heart is hurting from a breakup or a series of misunderstandings, choose to know that healing and peace are on the way.  What would happen if you stepped out of a victim mentality and into your own authority?  What would you do differently with all that you learned?  What has the other person taught you about yourself? 

Bless the gifts of these experiences and move on.

We are complete. We are whole. All is well.

Best Relationships

Daniel and I have been together for 12 years. He is my favorite person. I sincerely believe that this is because both of us are committed to our own growth and respect each other as individuals.
Neither one of us wants to change the other or lives in the past of our relationship. Both of us are very different people from who we were when we first met.
Our secret is simple, and it’s the same one I bring forth to my clients. It’s being our true self and witnessing the other in their growth.
When working with clients I bring forth a variety of tools that clue my client into who they are at soul-level and they are designed to use energy. Through coaching and in shedding light on Mistaken Thinking and the Illusions of Relationship, my clients set themselves free to be their true selves and create and realign relationships where they no longer have to settle, sacrifice, or pretend to be who they are not to receive love.
Does this resonate? it might be time for a sacred inquiry.
With Love and Wisdom,
Lauren

Exposing False Love + Mistaken Thinking

Many people I connect with express to me that they want to have fulfilling relationships where they feel loved, seen, and supported by others. What I have found is that while this is a beautiful ideal, it is an ideal that can unknowingly push love away.

With the desire to be loved, seen, and supported by others, you might have created standards that came about from past negative situations where you experienced the opposite of being loved, seen, and supported.

As these events were unpleasant—and understandably very hard for you—they caused you to put walls up to protect yourself from being hurt.  Then, as you began to process and heal from those experiences you developed healthy boundaries for how you wanted to be treated.

This was great then, but now you are likely stuck and not feeling fully loved, seen, and supported by others. This is because the healthy boundaries you once created have now become conditions, and conditions inevitably lead to being stuck.

Let’s explore this in a practical way…

Many of us mistake approval for unconditional love and acceptance. To see how true this is for you, look at how you handle rejection—in all areas of your life—not only your relationships!

  • Do you avoid rejection by staying quiet and tolerating what no longer supports you? 
  • Do you avoid rejection by being so forceful and frequent about expressing your opinions that it pushes others away? 
  • Do you choose to dislike others because you perceive that they do not approve of you?

This mistaken thinking [of believing that unconditional love and acceptance are the same as approval and validation] keeps you stuck. Instead of going deep within yourself, authentically connecting with yourself, and making choices that go beyond your conditions by connecting authentically with others, your energy gets fixated on protecting your self-image and micro-managing other people.

What would change if you handled rejection in a new way?  What would it feel like to create new boundaries instead of upholding outdated conditions?

Thank you for reading and for spending some time on your relationship with you today.

To Your Inner Wisdom,

Lauren

Exploring the Need to Suffer with Coaching Questions

One form of mistaken thinking is believing that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of work.  Many people believe that we have to suffer in order to grow and that anything worth having requires a lot of work. While there is a little bit of truth to this, this is another form of mistaken thinking.  Suffering and growth do not have to co-exist.  -Lauren Kay Wyatt, CEO of Love Renegades

To go deeper with this, I have some questions for you!

Do you believe that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of hard work?  On a scale of 1-10, how energizing are your life and relationships? Do you feel more enlivened or more tied down by your relationships and circumstances?

If you are not energized by your life and relationships, you most likely—at least on some level—believe that life has to be hard and that you have to suffer to receive “anything good.”

What would change in your life and relationships if you did not have to suffer? How would you be different from who you are now?

Illusion of Absorption- Video

NEW VIDEO about the Illusion of Absorption, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates you from love with mistaken thinking, over thinking, and believing you know everything!

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/J8KydWyPwks

Read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video!

Today I am so excited to connect with you about the Illusion of Absorption. This the 5th of the Illusions of Relationship. This one separates from Love and disconnects you from your heart by keeping you in your head and in the space being a know-it-all, trying to figure everything out, thinking you have everything figured out. It is totally an illusion because as much as it is hard to admit or accept, there is no such thing as certainly.  Yes, when we are under the  Illusion of Absorption we take in everything that we have learned, we absorb it, and it is really hard for us to open ourselves up to other perspectives. But really, we have hit a wall. Really, we can only see as far as our perspective will allow us to see. What this can do is it keeps you in your heard. It can make your heart cold.  You might feel that you are disappointed by people or that you are disappointing others in some way. You might have some really logical reasons as to why. I have such much love and compassion for you. We’ve all been there. My advice to you is to have love and compassion with yourself to recognize “my heart is cold. It’s a little cold right now.  I have some healing to do. Yes, I have done a lot already, but there is still more.”  Just set that intention for you to attract the resources and the people ( the coach or healer or mentor) who can support you with what.

 

Do Away with Perfection!

Perfection really is a sneaky beast! It urges us to follow the crowd and while it may lead to some sort of validation, it is really shallow and superficial at best.  Really, any praise obtained from trying to be perfect, is the equivalent of fast food. It feels good while it’s happening, but if you eat too much and for too long…well, it can have lasting effects—and not the good kind!!!  🙂

This leads us into the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that separates you from Love by causing you to be deeply inauthentic.  This Illusion is so subtle that it you will often think that you are being true to yourself by just refining (and well, perfecting) when in reality, you are playing out a cycle of fear.

How does this impact your relationships?  Well, it can cause the people in your life—especially your partner(s) or prospective partners—to not even know you. No one, including you, ever gets to truly connect with your authentic identity. This can cause deep longing and frustration—which can play out in sooooo many [dysfunctional] ways in your relationships!

If you would like to transcend the need for perfection, you must heal the Illusion of Perfection within you. Here are two videos where in less than 15 minutes—you will  you will receive a deeper understanding of the Illusion of Perfection, and you will have an opportunity to connect with your authentic (ahem LOVE RENEGADE) self.

It is my intention that these videos bring you healing clarity on transcending the need for perfection and in creating a life and relationships that reflect your Divine self!


Quiz-What's your Illusion of Relationship™?
 

Your quiz results will help you...
 
  • Shed light on how to reconnect with Love
  • See clearly how you separate from your inner Love Renegade
  • Receive healing guidance and practical next steps 
TAKE THE QUIZ
close-link