Slathered in sunscreen and highly toxic bug repellent. Leggings worn underneath a loose-fitting sundress on an oppressively hot day. Feet, swollen with an eery gelatin feeling on top, from two lengthy international flights. My thighs, clinging to my husband. My arms wrapped across his belly—-in sweaty and deep admiration, as he boldly navigated [traffic] obstacles with grace. Exhilaration, conquering my senses, while armed with prayers and intentions of LOVE and safe travel—-as we road-tripped it on a motorbike—-our kind of a pilgrimage—-to one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.
This is a snippet from our second day in Goa—-now one of the best days of my life—when my husband, Daniel rented a scooter and drove us all over. Did we know that we were going to do this before we arrived in India? Nope. Did we know that there would be cows, chickens, pigs, pedestrians, cyclists, auto rickshaws and tour busses on the road while we drove around? Not really.
Saying YES was a no-brainer choice for us, given our adventurous spirits and Daniel’s love of riding motorcycles.
Let’s jump ahead a few days later— where we are now entrenched in the serpentine nature of bazaars and the famous Spice Market in Old Delhi. In constant awe of the chaos with our first “Indian Helicopter,” apparently a manually navigated rickshaw, where we were led to air conditioned shop where we could safely test out magic carpets, admire crystals, and drink tea with Arabs. (I seriously felt like a character in “The Alchemist!”)
Two days before that, we experienced luxury and abundance in the form of mysticism, body-pampering, great food, and shopping for Indian fashions, with a dear friend of ours who resides in the greater New Delhi area.
NOT ONE OF THESE EVENTS WAS PLANNED and yet everything went “according to plan.”
What I found is that when I plan, nothing ever really turns out the way that my Junior, my word for ego, wants it to. Of course, this does NOT mean that I am unaccountable to appointments, that I go flaying (instead of flowing) with life, and that I just cross my fingers and hope for the best.
It does mean that I LET LOVE LEAD THE WAY!
Love is my intention for everything that I do. If I want to create love, I put LOVE into my entire process of creating it. And since I have free will and desire, I can choose a destination for LOVE to flow in my life. For instance, as long as I can remember, I wanted a partner who I could travel with, enjoy great food with, and change the world with. I ended up creating that with Daniel, my husband.
It has not always been easy. Our relationship has never lacked for love nor passion, but there have been times in which we have struggled together.
There were miscommunications, judgements, and hurt feelings—-and really, SO MANY clash of the Juniors between us!
In all of our time together, neither of us has once chosen to settle. In fact, six years ago, after attending some incredible transformational trainings called World Works in the Orange County area, I chose to no longer participate in the dynamic that Daniel and I had co-created in our relationship.
Just to be clear, I was NOT rejecting Daniel as a person. I simply knew that the way in which our relationship was currently going was no longer viable nor aligned with my soul’s path and my heart’s desire.
And that’s the thing.
When we can powerfully OWN what it is that we desire—-we may quickly find that some of our relationships no longer fit in with who we are committed to becoming. The choice to release a relationship or to remove yourself from a dynamic in a relationship is both extremely painful and incredibly liberating.
I did not like who I was being in our relationship. I did not like how much I held myself back. What I saw as Daniel’s rigidity was really just a mirror image showing me how much I had chosen the path of fear and insecurity.
I no longer wanted to feel this way. I was not satisfied with the results in my life. I no longer wanted to be status quo and wait to die. I wanted LOVE. I wanted to live free from the control of outside expectations and fear.
I chose to REVOLT FOR LOVE!
Six years ago, I told Daniel that what we had was DEAD. Now, we are traveling in India together where we BOTH spoke at the Women’s Economic Forum in New Delhi.
Daniel did not plan to speak, but he made a new choice. In the midst of being in such a loving, enlightening, and inspiring environment, Daniel chose to follow his heart by taking a huge new step toward a dream of his. By choosing to speak, network, and be the empowering person that he is, Daniel has effectively launched his SECOND business—-his coaching business!!!
I am SOOOOO thrilled for Daniel and I LOVE (x3) what LOVE has led us both to—-together!!!
If planning is not your thing either, do not worry. Just be honest with yourself…
…Are you not planning because you are afraid of not doing things the “right” way?
…Do you make yourself plan everything out because you think that is what you are supposed to do?
…Are you waiting for permission to stand in your truth and follow your dreams?
…Are can you let go of?
…What are you ready to say yes to?
…What new up level would you love to be a part of your relationships and experiences?
I would LOVE to hear your answers to at least one of these questions!!!
Share your heart with me by leaving a comment or emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I LOVE YOU!
This week I will be traveling to India to speak at the Women’s Economic and Empowerment Forum. My husband, Daniel, my sexiest best friend in the whole world, is coming with me. We are going to mix business with romance. After drinking in insanely beautiful beach sunsets in Goa, we will catch a flight to New Delhi, the city where the conference is being held, where I will speak about “Letting Love Lead the Way” and “Opening the Gates of Love.”
This is a dream that I have held in my heart for years!! If you read “My Rock Bottom”, my blog from last week, you will know that getting to this point used to be really, really far away. I was so separated from Love that the closest I could have gotten to this moment was either in sleep-inspired dream-land or through my imagination. A series of choices were made over the years to bring me to this current point.
Another dream of mine is everyone to have their own version of this. For this reason, I wanted to share a bit about my process with you without giving you an “easy seven step formula to follow” or anything like that. These how-to “cooke-cutter” style formulas do not work anyway. They do not work because they lack YOUR energetic contribution and participation.
Let me elaborate…
If you are reading this, you are unique and have your own way of doing things. We might be similar, but we are both different people with different souls and different preferences. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa.
What I will do is shed light on universal truths that can enlighten you to things that you can STOP DOING as soon as possible. The choices I am referring to are the ones that are separating you from Love. When you stop doing these things, you will attract more opportunities to experience LOVE—-on your terms!!
If you are open and accepting of what I share, you stand the chance of forging a connection that paves the way for you to:
Reclaim your personal power
Make waves in your relationships, your LOVE LIFE, and other parts of your life too!!
This is a complete healing and lifestyle choice. When you heal, you release blocks to Love. You reconnect with your heart—-your greatest ally—-and your soul, your personal source of power! This powerful reconnection allows you to REGULATE! When you regulate, you #revoltforlove. You approach “problems” in a conscious and enlightened way that creates CHANGE THAT YOU LOVE!
To assist you in this process, I have include snippets of a talk that I recently did at the Women’s Chamber of Commerce of Texas called “Choosing Truth Over Illusion.” As you watch, I invite you to:
Check in with your own heart
Observe your feelings, thoughts, and insights.
Pay attention to what the content ignites in you (and write that shit out!!! )
Some of what I share may seem “obvious.” You may also feel angry, frustrated, and uncomfortable. All of this is totally OK. It’s really important information!!! Your reaction is a gateway to your own healing and to dismantling illusions that separate you from love.
Watch the videos by clicking on the descriptions for each video segment below.
In this first video, I introduce what an illusion is in the context of Truth.
In this next segment, I talk about a Category 1 Illusion. These are illusions that may have been based in wisdom or truth at one point, but have since deviated.
The next type of illusion, a Category 2 Illusion, is what others told you was true. These illusions are running your life. Conscious awareness of these illusions can set you free.
This highlight your heart’s connection to you and all of the healing opportunities that your present circumstances are offering you.
That’s all for now!
I will be in touch with updates from India. If you have questions or feedback about the content, let me know by leaving a comment!
Sending you so much LOVE!
There I sat, publicly crying into my Chinese food. Raw from humiliation and ripe from heartbreak. Everything I had worked so hard for—-Lost. The endless appointments. The bureaucratic mess. The stupid fucking desk job that drained my soul. All for nothing.
And then there was the heartbreak. Always present in the back of my mind. Constantly urging me to question everything. Encouraging me to self-loathe and criticize myself. Screaming at me that I was worthless, stupid, and unlovable.
The relationship I thought was forever was done—it ended because I had chosen to follow my heart. And that was all for nothing too.
And now THIS—-I was living with my parents. I was rejected from the Peace Corps. I had a medical condition where the “experts” advised surgery. My new boyfriend—-not the one who I had previously shared a home with—-had his own set of troubles. Legal bills. Custody battles. A divorce process that was four years old in the making.
As the tears rolled into my already sodium-saturated lunch, I lamented “I guess that dreams do not come true. Not for everyone. Definitely not for me.”
This was my rock bottom. The spring of 2009 in El Paso, TX.
I will never forget the faded yellow walls in that restaurant or my kind friend, a woman who at the time was the most authentically “enlightened” person I had ever met, who was sitting across from me. At that moment, she made a gentle suggestion. She recommended that I go see this lady, a local healer, a curandera, in the El Paso community, for something called Reiki.
At the time I did not believe in anything. I thought religion was silly. I felt like the people who followed it blindly were stupid. I felt like if God did exist, it was only for the benefit of some people, but not for me. I felt completely alone. I did not even want to be alive. I was desperate. Yet, I trusted my friend and booked a spiritual healing session with this magical person named Alma (which is the same word as “soul” in Spanish.)
That was the turning point.
I remember telling Daniel, the man who is currently my husband and who also used to be the boyfriend I was referring to in the Spring of 2009—-yes the man who had his own set of problems and who was financially bankrupt but never spiritually broken—-that the woman I went to see for something called Reiki, “took out a map of my soul and read it aloud to me.”
I began to see things clearly. I began to make new choices. For instance, I stopped self-medicating with alcohol and pot. I stopped eating meat. I started doing yoga. I also chose NOT to have the surgery that the experts had recommended. Apparently, it was not immediately necessary anyway—-just an [aggressive] precaution.
These series of choices allowed for deep healing to occur. My body healed itself, making the surgery medically unnecessary. My heart began to heal from the breakup. My relationship with Daniel expanded. Above all, I began to love and accept myself.
During the worst time of my life, I was doing the best that I could. I was not like everyone else. I saw things that others would say were not “real.” I saw ghosts and spirits. The dead would talk to me. I had an uncanny way of knowing things when no logical solution was available. I knew when others were in pain and I literally felt their emotional and physical pain in my body. I wanted to keep that secret to myself. All of these years I had been telling myself that I was crazy and that everyone else knew better than me. I did not realize that I was repressing myself. I was simply doing the best I could to get through the day…
…Let’s fast forward a few years to the NOW, the present moment of the Spring of 2017.
In less than two weeks, Daniel and I are flying to India where I will be a featured speaker at a Women’s Economic and Empowerment Conference in New Delhi called WEF, the Women’s Economic Forum. I will be talking about “Letting Love Lead the Way” and “Opening the Gates of Love.” My company, Love Renegades, an expression of my natural (and now refined) healing and psychic abilities, PAID FOR THIS TRIP.
Within Love Renegades, I guide and facilitate soul-level healing for amazing heart-centered people that urges them to break free of illusion and have their BEST relationships and results that they LOVE—-on their terms. I LOVE working and even though I am at my desk often, this is certainly not a “desk job” that I despise.
A mere week ago, Daniel and I moved into a GORGEOUS brand-new home in Austin, TX, my favorite city in the whole world. That same week, I spoke about “Choosing Truth Over Illusion,” at the Women’s Chamber of Commerce of Texas, my favorite local networking community.
In the Spring of 2009, if you would have told me that all of the horrible things that were happening were actually unfolding into something even better than I could have ever imagined, I would have either started crying or shaken my head in disbelief.
At some level, I feel that I already knew that. Even in my most broken, there was a part of me that knew there was something more to life. I had no idea what that was exactly, but I decided to TRUST. To Trust what I could not see or prove. As a result of that, I chose to LIVE and engage fully with LIFE.
I chose Love.
Right now, is there a part of you that feels broken? Any part of you that is hurting? If you answered yes, then I urge you to get in touch with your heart.
The pain that you feel is guiding you toward a healing opportunity—an opportunity where just one choice can change everything for you.
If you feel called to do it, I urge you to apply here for a free Heart Connection Session with me. During this session, we will go deep.
We will talk about your current situation and your relationships. I will offer loving and honest insight on practical steps you can take to reconnect with your heart. I will also shed light on the illusions that are separating you from love.
In the spring of 2009, the illusion that separated me from love was a belief that I was “crazy” and “worthless.” What illusions are YOU choosing over truth? What is separating YOU from Love? If you are ready to connect with yourself and receive this powerful insight, then apply here: http://loverenegades.com/apply-renegade-session/
Sending you blessings of love and freedom!!
On Friday, April 14, 2017, I made a Facebook Lifestream called “When things get ugly.” This lifestream sheds light on how chaos can unfold when we move toward our dreams and are on the edge of a breakthrough.
I candidly share my recent personal experience with chaos, weave in wisdom bursts of relationship dynamics, and entwine the role of Universal Law.
You can watch the Lifestream here:
Is there something you would like me to blog about or make a Lifestream or Youtube video about? Submit your question/topic here: http://loverenegades.com/ask-lauren/
Each day you go about your day in the best way that you can. You see the same people, do the same things, strive for the same goals, and think the same thoughts.
You are not alone in this. All of us do some version of this. We get comfortable. We become so engrained in a routine or so fixed on our focus that we do what we always do: we lose sight of the many opportunities for LOVE and abundance that are right there—-right in front of us—-staring us in the face—-and at our fingertips.
When we could be seeing and seizing these opportunities and saying YES to receiving love in all of its forms—-what do we do instead?
We push love away.
We say no to abundance.
We think, “oh well…maybe next time, when I am [prettier/thinner/smarter/debt-free/etc.]
When we say no, we say yes to what we have always known instead. And guess what happens when we do that? We say yes to more of the same!
That means that those same circumstances that have been getting under-your-skin—-the same dynamics that make you want to pull your hair out…They just keep happening over and over and OVER again.
And why wouldn’t they?
You cannot create what you desire if you continue to do the same thing and make the same choices.
Same creates same.
Same cannot lead to different—-no matter how well-intentioned you are or how much you meditate or how much you pray and how much you talk to your friends about what you want.
No amount of complaining or crying is going to bring about what you want—-not if you continue to do what you have always done.
Before you get upset or go to defend your decisions—-before you go into trying to convince yourself and me that you “had no choice” but to do what you have been doing—-know this:
This is not your fault—or anyone else’s for that matter!
No one is blaming you.
No one—-especially not I—- is shaming you for your choices or telling you that you could have “done a better job.”
No one is trying to invalidate your pain away either. Life can be really, really tough. Some of us have undergone terrible heartbreak and unimaginable trauma.
Like everyone else..
You do not know what you have NOT been taught. You cannot see what you do not know to look for.
If you feel fed up with experiencing the same frustrating patterns over and over again— whether it is feeling deeply frustrated in your love life, at your wit’s end in a relationship, being passed up for a promotion AGAIN, or simply not feeling seen, heard, and loved—-you very well might be locked into an illusion.
Illusions, or what I call “the Laws of Love” must be broken. Illusion are elusive concepts that appear to be True (and some of these illusions might have some truth to them) but in reality all they are mind-control mechanisms that are meant to keep you in your place!! They are the ultimate status quo shit that has been fed to you by the collective conscience (or **THE THEY, as I like to call *them) that keeps you separated from Love and in your place!
(As much as I wish that I had, I did not coin the term “the they” for the collective conscious. I was listening to a lecture by Caroline Myss, one of my favorite spiritual teachers and she said it first! Ever since I heard her say this I have been obsessed with the term! I truly cannot think of a more aligned way to say it!)
With this new information at the forefront of your mind, I ask you the following questions:
Do you really want to be just another cog in the machine? Do you really want to be separated from love? Do you want to believe that you cannot have what you yearn for? Do you like being just like everyone else?
Or, do you yearn to reconnect with your own heart’s wisdom? Are you ready to reclaim you relationship and love life? Are you ready to SAY NO to more heartbreaking patterns?
If you answered no to the first set of questions and yes to the second set and if you want to explore your potential more deeply, I invite you to apply for a Love Renegade Connection Session with me.
In this free session, available by application only and delivered by phone, we will uncover the illusions that are blocking you from moving forward. You will receive healing insight and practical action steps from me too. Apply here: http://loverenegades.com/apply-renegade-session/
And finally, I ask you to dig deep down within yourself and ask yourself, “Do I really want to be right about why I cannot have what I want?” Or “Am I ready to say yes to love and make a new choice?”
Let me know your answers. I love to love you, and I will be in touch soon with more wisdom bursts for you!
It happened more than 10 years ago, but I still recall their pained expressions. I remember how quickly their wounds were covered up and overcompensated with anger and the “how dare she” snide “mean girl” behavior that soon followed.
Listen to me read this wisdom burst by clicking here!
Just seconds before they were a beautiful group of friends enjoying their time together. Now because of one comment that I made—-a comment that can be summed up to “oh how fun that you all are celebrating together on Valentine’s Day,” I found myself in a situation where I just could not win.
See, when I graduated from college, I moved to Austin, TX. I was following my dream of living in one of my favorite cities. I was supporting myself by waiting tables. Most people I encountered on that Valentine’s Day dinner shift were in the agony of heartbreak.
They wanted to be seen, served, and loved, but no matter how hard I worked or how many times I refilled their cheesy biscuits (yes I worked at Red Lobster) nothing was good enough. They were just bound and determined to take their misery out on me.
This is an issue that I see happening with so many of us, human-folk. As people, when we are not happy, we have a tendency to take our problems and pain out on others. We may feel that because someone has something that we want—-whether it is boundless love with a sexy someone—or someones!— or limitless money and success—we comfort our discomfort by directing negative thoughts and actions towards others.
In moments like this, we are passing our own judgement of ourselves—-all of our inadequacies, our sense of low self-worth, and our insecurities—-onto them. But here is the good news: if you can be jealous of someone else’s circumstances, then guess what? You too can enjoy the same circumstances!!
Sure, you may not have the relationship or love life that you desire right now. You may not be over-the-moon happy with your body, your current job or relationship, but know this: if you can have such a strong reaction to something—-then that means that it too can be yours.
Now, I will not get all woo woo with you and tell you that all you have to do is think positive thoughts, wave your magic wand, and will that relationship, that love life, those juicy delicious circumstances that you LOVE, into your experience. That would be lying.
What I can tell you is that you can have these things through choosing to heal your heart and put effort into having the desire that you want. Healing and effort is a power combo!!
See, when we experience desire—-whether it comes in as feelings of yearning OR feelings of jealousy—-this is our heart’s way of communicating with us. Those less than savory “negative” feelings that you are experiencing? That’s your heart! Those loving giddy excited feelings? That’s your heart too!
If you listen to your heart, your heart will show you where your love—-your attention and effort—-is needed. Your heart is your greatest ally.
Be aware that what your heart shows you may not always be pretty. All of those judgements you feel toward yourself and others? That is your heart crying for your attention. That is your heart asking for healing and pleading for you to reconnect with it.
This Valentine’s Day, will you choose to listen to your heart, love yourself up, and take steps to heal your heart?
If your answer is yes, then I would love to assist you with a Heart Reconnection Session. In this free session, I will listen carefully, ask questions, give loving and honest insight, and shed light on practical steps you can take to heal your heart and bring your desire into reality. Please apply for your session here: http://loverenegades.com/apply-renegade-session/
If you can align with your heart, you are on your way to being unstoppable. You are on your way to no longer being affected by the actions of others or feeling bad about what you do or do not have. You are on your way to creating love within and around you.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day to you!! It is my greatest intention that you choose to love you today.